8.01.2006

He's not bitter

Here's an eBayer who tells it like he sees it--even if it has nothing to do with the amp that he's selling (hat hip: Dave Barry's hysterical blog):

I JUST BOUGHT A PRINCETON REVERB, WHICH I DEARLY WANTED, AND TO STOP WW4 FROM STARTING UP IN MY HOUSE, I HAVE TO GET RID OF AT LEAST ONE THING....SO..I VOTE FOR THIS ONE.,BLUE BEETLE 110 COMBO..ALL TUBE..EL84 AMP...10 INCH SPEAKER..KINDA A RARE AMP BUT VERY COOL..MADE IN EUROPE.......SELLING IT NOT BECAUSE I DONT LIKE IT, JUST BECAUSE WOMEN HATE AMPLIFIERS,,,AND THEY HATE IT WHEN YOU GO TO GIGS WITHOUT THEM...AND THEY HATE IT WHEN YOU TAKE THEM TO GIGS AND THEY DONT HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO,,,,AND THEY HATE IT WHEN YOU PLAY RECORDS AT HOME WHILE THEY TRY TO WATCH THE SCOTT PETERSON FIASCO ON TV..THEY HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT US, BASICALLY....THEY HATE IT WHEN YOU PLAY A GIG FROM 9 TO 1 IN THE VERY CROTCH OF MISSISSIPPI AND SHE KNOWS THE GIG IS 100 MILES AWAY AND YOU FLY HOME ON DARK ROADS IN RECORD TIME AFTER THE MISERABLE GIG AND GET HOME AT 3:15AM AND SHE SAYS, IN A HUFF.. 'WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?..'....THEY HATE OUR CLOTHES...THEY HATE OUR HAIR,,THEY SAY IT'S NOT THE 60'S ANYMORE...,,THEY HATE WHERE WE LEAVE OUR SHOES...THEY HATE THE KIND OF CAR WE WANT TO BUY...THEY HATE THE WAY WE TREAT A BAR OF SOAP.....THEY HATE FOR US TO WATCH ANYTHING ON TV THAT FEATURES A BALL SHAPED OBJECT .. ....THEY WANT US TO TELL THEM HOW GOOD THEY LOOK TO US AND HOW MUCH WE DESIRE THEM, BUT IF WE LOOK AT ANOTHER WOMAN, FOR A SECOND, THEN WE'RE JUST MALE SCUM... IF WE DO SOMETHING BAD ONCE IN OUR WHOLE LIFE (and get caught at it), SUDDENLY ITS SOMETHING WE DO 'ALL THE TIME'...THEY HATE THE CUT OF OUR JIB..THEY HATE GOATEES...THEY HATE IT WHEN YOU WALK LIKE YOU HAVE A CLUBFOOT WHILE YOU'RE IN A STORE WITH THEM....WHERE WAS I,?..,..OK..THIS AMP IS TINY BUT REALLY REALLY SOLID AND HEAVY...I MEAN SOLID...I MEAN HEAVY...ITS LIKE A HUNK OF IRON....IT IS PLENTY LOUD TOO...ITS NOT JUST FOR PRACTICE ..IT DOESNT SOUND LIKE A FENDER,.,HERE IS THE HARMONY CENTRAL LINK TO READ ABOUT IT... http://reviews.harmony-central.com/reviews/Guitar+Amp/product/George+Dennis/Blue+Beetle+15+Watt+110+Combo/10/1 FREE SHIPPING...just please pay for the amp if you buy it...oh yea..the handle is broke...everything else works fine..REVERB WORKS..CHANNEL SWITCHING WORKS..THE SPEAKER IS WHATEVER COMES IN THE AMP, I CAN'T SEE THE NAME ON IT....ITS GOOD TO GO.....fooTswitch included....SOLD WITH NO RESERVE..SO NO RETURNS PLEASE..THIS IS AN AUCTION, THIS IS NOT SEARS.....GUARANTEED TO WORK

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Yep. The dude has issues. Serious ones.

And, he obviously needs to find someone else. It shouldn't be hard. I know tons of women who love it when a guy walks around the store with them acting like he has a club foot. Don't you?