Meet--genius boy.

I'm not sure whether this situation calls for a snide comment about prosecutors or law firm associates. I'm truly torn. Either way, there's no doubt that the guy who's the subject of this article is most certainly an Asshole Partner in the making.

If you can't access the article, Jay Kuo, an idiot law firm associate from "the well-known litigation boutique Keker & Van Nest" who was "on loan" to a San Francisco prosecutor's office blogged about a misdemanor case that he was handling. And most likely due to the defendant's motion, the judge assigned to the matter happened upon his blog. And, it seems that the posts were...well...somewhat inflammatory.

From the article:

The contents of the blog posts were not available online Wednesday, but according to Karnow's ruling, Kuo at various points called his opposing counsel "chicken" when she asked for a continuance, directly alluded to her with some posting titles obscene enough that the judge did not repeat them and mentioned a prior conviction that had not yet been deemed admissible at trial.

Although the judge disagreed with the defendant's assertion that the charges should be dismissed due to the highly prejudicial nature of the comments on the blog, the judge called Kuo's actions "juvenile, obnoxious and unprofessional."

Ya think?

Right back at ya!

Rep. Jo Ann Emerson of Missouri recently sent a letter to a constituent that concluded with the following happy-go-lucky sentence: "i think you're an asshole." The letter, in its entirety, can be found here.

According to this article, "Emerson says she can't explain how the offensive language made it into the letter, which otherwise reads like a typical response to a citizen's question about last year's testimony of oil executives before the Senate Commerce Committee."

I can't tell you how many times I was tempted to add a comment like that at the end of a letter to one of my asshole clients.

In fact, one time, Bleached-blond-poodle-hair-secretary-from-hell inserted a similar phrase at the end of one of my letters to a particulary difficult client. If I recall, it was something along the lines of "I hate you, stop calling me." I caught it right away, and BBPHSFH assured me that even if I hadn't she would have deleted it before it went out, but I still wonder.

Maybe Rep. Emerson's stuck with a Poodle Head as well. It would certainly explain the horrendous gaffe.

In fact, if you recall, BBPHSFH was recently fired from my old firm. Maybe Rep. Emerson's secretary is BBPHSFH. Now, that would explain a lot.

True dat

Rock on Pink, rock on.

Buy it.

Well, that's one way to cop a feel

An old guy was apparently posing as a doctor and going door-to-door offering to provide free breast exams. (Hat tip: Kevin M.D.)

According to this article:

Carrying a black “doctor’s” bag, investigators claim Winnikoff walked up to a apartment building and told a 36-year-old woman, that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams.

According to police, the woman let Winikoff into her apartment and the phony doctor began the exam, touching first her breasts, and then, her genitals.

The woman quickly realized that Winikoff was not a real doctor and she called 911, but the fake doctor had already left her apartment to find another victim; a 33 year old woman who lives in the same apartment complex.

Very creative. He knew what he wanted, aggressively pursued it, and convinced others to go along with it. I bet this guy would have made a great lawyer.

Too little, too late

So, according to this article, the State of Alabama has finally gotten around to approving a bill that will pardon Rosa Parks. Rosa Parks, in case you're not aware, died last October. Alabama's timing is somewhat curious. You'd think that they could have gotten around to passing this bill sometime within say, the last 50 years.

But, no. Ms. Parks died with the convictions on her record, never having had the satisfaction of knowing that the State of Alabama had acknowledged that she had done no wrong.

There's an interesting article on this issue entitled "Did Rosa Parks Pardon Alabama?". From that article:

I don't question the noble intentions of those who support this legislation. I can appreciate the inconvenience - and embarrassment - a law-abiding person feels at having a conviction on her record. Even a conviction that cost only a $10 fine half a century ago. But I wonder if the supporters of this bill truly appreciate the moral implications of what they are asking. You only need to be excused, forgiven, pardoned, when you've done wrong. And while it's true that Parks and others did break the law, that's not the same as doing wrong.

The author raises a good point.

But, putting aside the issue of whether the remedy is necessarily appropriate, at least Alabama is publicly acknowledging the error of their ways. But, for Rosa Parks, it's too little too late.

Hey waiter, there's a fly in my soup

In general, I've noticed that a lot of male lawyers in private practice, especially the short, bald ones, are assholes, both on the job and off. And eating out is no exception. Do you think that there's a direct correlation between height and asshole-ness? I do.

The basic premise of this article is that most CEOs agree that you can tell a lot about a person's character based upon how they treat a waiter. I've always felt that to be the case and would never go out on a second date with a guy who was an asshole to the waiter.

In particular, this part of the article rang true to me:

To some people, speaking in a condescending manner makes them feel important, which to me is a total turnoff," says Seymour Holtzman, chairman of Casual Male Retail Group, which operates big-and-tall men's clothing stores including Casual Male XL...

Such behavior is an accurate predictor of character because it isn't easily learned or unlearned but rather speaks to how people were raised, says Siki Giunta, CEO of U.S. technology company Managed Objects, a native of Rome who once worked as a London bartender.

A guy that I used to work with was guilty of this type of behavior. He was incredibly rude to waitresses on a regular basis and constantly embarrassed everyone that was with him. And, to top it off, he pretty much didn't tip--at all. We were always stuck making up the difference. And, guess what? He was short--and prematurely balding. The perfect ingredients for an Asshole Partner in the making.

After working in a firm, I am absolutely convinced that the Napoleanic complex is not a myth. Short men are drawn to the law to over-compensate for their lack of height (and, many times, hair), and become assholes in the process, most likely as a defense mechanism. And, a disproportionate number of them make partner. Go figure.

Of course, I'm no giant and am perfectly nice to wait staff, so obviously my theory only applies to men. Vertically-challenged female lawyers such as myself stumble into the field of law purely by happenstance, dontcha know. We all know that Napolean was a man, and thus that whole complex of his does not translate over to the female of the species. Abso.Lutely.Not. And, besides, I've got plenty of hair.

Taking Sidebar in a new direction

I've decided that I'm taking this blog in a new direction. I've squeezed out every last drop of associate angst that I have. There's just nothing left, hence the long dry spell.

But, I've got lots more to say about the law, the universe, and everything. I'm not exactly sure where Sidebar is going, but figure it'll be readily apparent after a few posts. Let's just hope I can keep it interesting.

Stop back soon, y'all, ya hear? But, for now, so long and thanks for all the fish.

I'll post soon

I see thatmy "regulars"--all 16 of you--check back fairly regularly. I'm sorry I've been delinquint in posting. I'll post sometime over the next 2 days or so, once I've given the topic of a post some thought. I'll be back....